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CHRISTOFO COLUMBO (Christopher Columbus)

1911 (out of copyright) with words by Ring Lardner.

I'll sing to you about a man whose name you'll find in hist'ry
He solved a problem very deep which long had been a myst'ry;
Navigators young and old gave way to him quite fitly,
His name it was Columbus and he came from sunny It'ly.

He knew the earth was round-ho!
That land it could be found-ho!
That geographic, hard and hoary
Navigator, gyratory
Christofo Columbo.

To the Kings and Queens of Europe, Columbus told his theory,
They simply thought him crazy, and asked him this here query,
How could the earth stand up if round, it surely would suspend,
For answer, C'lumbus took an egg and stood it on its end.

He knew the earth was round-ho!
That land it could be found-ho!
That geographic, hard and hoary
Navigator, gyratory
Christofo Columbo.

In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety-two,'twas then Columbus started,
From Pales on the coast of Spain to the westward he departed,
His object was to find a route, a short one to East India,
Columbus wore no whiskers, and the wind it blew quite windy.

He knew the earth was round-ho!
That land it could be found-ho!
That geographic, hard and hoary
Navigator, gyratory
Christofo Columbo.

When Sixty days away from land, upon the broad Atlantic,
The sailors they went on a strike which nearly caused a panic,
They all demanded eggs to eat for each man in the crew,
Columbus had no eggs aboard, but he made the ship lay too.

He knew the earth was round-ho!
That land it could be found-ho!
That geographic, hard and hoary
Navigator, gyratory
Christofo Columbo.

The hungry crew impatient grew, and beef-steak they demanded,
Equal to the emergency, Columbus then commanded
That ev'ry sailor who proves true, and his duty never shirks,
Can have a juicy porterhouse, "I'11 get it from the bulwarks."

He knew the earth was round-ho!
That land it could be found-ho!
That geographic, hard and hoary
Navigator, gyratory
Christofo Columbo.

Not satisfied with steak and eggs, the crew they yelled for chicken,
Columbus seemed at a loss for once, and the plot it seemed to thicken,
The men threatened to jump overboard, Columbus blocked their pathway,
And cried: "If chicken you must have, I'll get it from the hatchway."

He knew the earth was round-ho!
That land it could be found-ho!
That geographic, hard and hoary
Navigator, gyratory
Christofo Columbo.

The sailors now so long from home with fear became imbued,
On the twelfth day of October their fears were all subdued,
For after Ninety days at sea, they discovered America's shores,
And quickly made a landing on the Isle of Salvador.

He knew the earth was round-ho!
That land it could be found-ho!
That geographic, hard and hoary
Navigator, gyratory
Christofo Columbo.